I'm a girly man...with a manly book.

This morning I went to the Summit armed with a workout that I borrowed from the Men's Health Gym Bible. It promised to be very good for losing weight. In fact, the book promised that the workout was so intense that it should only be done for a period of six weeks. I'm don't know how many pounds I lost...how many calories do you burn having your soul crushed?

The idea of this workout is that it emphasized building dynamic muscles through high-impact exercises done with little rest, followed by interval cardio and then repeated all over again. All that is fancy gym speak for "This is going to hurt, hurt, hurt...hurt."

I understand that some weight training requires that you get spotter to watch and make sure that you don't crush yourself under a barbell. I didn't ever use a barbell, but I wanted to have a spotter on hand to defibrillator me if my heart stopped.

The exercises all had names like dumbbell lunges, dumbbell step ups, dumbbell wood choppers (I'm not even making that up!). Once I'd finished these eight exercises in quick succession, it was time for some interval cardio training.

The idea behind interval cardio is that rather than getting on a machine and putting in a long, low-intensity workout, you work in short burst. For a little more than six minutes, I would sprint 30 seconds, jog 60, sprint 30 seconds...you get the idea. The idea was me pouring off sweat like a wet sponge in a tightening vice.

Truth be told, I didn't make it through the second take of the workout. About halfway through the second run, I was pretty sure I was about to pass out or vomit. I finished whatever set I was working on and began guzzling water as if I'd just emerged from the Sahara after a week of wandering.

When all was said and done, this workout really highlighted just how weak I am. I couldn't do more than a dozen push ups without shaking and grunting, and anytime I finished using a weight machine, I'd immediately set it to a higher weight. That way, the next person to use the machine might think I was a real boy.

Hopefully after a few more weeks of working out, I'll feel like I actually belong in the gym. In the meantime, can someone please spot me on my push ups?