Does this outfit make me look naked?

In my last post, I talked about my return to lap swimming. It was a great experience, overall, but it did come with a small amount of discomfort. You see, before I could hit the lanes, I had to purchase some new gear.

I needed some cheapo goggles. They didn't need to be fancy. They just needed to keep the water out of my eyes.

I also didn't have a training suit that still fit me anymore, and I was a little nervous that I wouldn't find one at the store in my size. My fears were completely misplaced, though. There were several that would work. You can see in the photo here just how excited I was my the tightness of the outfit.

I will say, that as tight-fitting as the suit may be, it's a few universes better than what I used to have to wear at swim meets. Fun fact, no man looks good in a Speedo. If you're skinny, the man-kini makes you look positively anorexic. If you have any fat whatsoever, it makes you look like one of Richard Simmons' background dancers. It's like a grand prank that was perpetrated on swimmers the world over.

EVIL GENIUS I
Do you think we could get them to wear just cellophane?

EVIL GENIUS II
No, I don't' think they're quite that stupid... How about we get them to wear the tiniest amount of fabric allowed under the law?

EVIL GENIUS I
You think they'll buy that but not the plastic wrap?

EVIL GENIUS II
I don't know. Let's give it a shot.

I can vividly remember going up to the blocks at swim meets wearing board shorts and waiting until the last possible moment to drop them. I was like a professional hit man weary of being captured on a surveillance camera.

The first time I saw an Olympic swimmer wearing one of the new longer Speedos, I wished him dead. Not really, but I sure was jealous. These new suits are tight, but at least you don't have to worry about accidentally committing a misdemeanor by turning too quickly.