Hey Blog Man...

"Hey blog-man - Where are the posts? I believe those of us subscribed are due posts until April..."

Those were the words of an email I just received from a friend of mine. Sure enough, they are thoughts that have been expressed by a number of friends. I really have fallen way behind on this blog, and for that I owe a thousand apologies. I think I owe myself a few as well.

The truth is, I have not been working out or making any of the right choices that I wanted to be New Year's Day. I'm not proud of it...and it turns out it's a lot harder to write blog about things of which you're ashamed.

Last week I went for one jog with my dog, and that represented pretty much the full extent of my fitness regiment. Likewise, my diet has been, at best, passing. I have yet to get back on track counting my calories on LiveStrong.

Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. Actually, that's not true is it? My problem is that I've let myself get comfortable again. I enjoy sleeping until 6 a.m. and then sitting on the couch eating cereal (all-be-it healthy cereal) and watching TV. I like hanging out with my wife and baby at night. I like eating when I'm hungry and not worrying about whether or not I've burned enough calories to make it disappear. I like dark beer and carbs. Carbs are my friends!

Somewhere in my mind there is a disconnect. I want to get fit. I recognize that what I'm doing right now (nothing) is not going to allow me to get fit. Therefore...see, there's the problem. A+B=???

It's like I'm starting all over again. I'm still about 10 pounds lighter than I was, but apparently all those pounds were shed between my ears. I try and think back at my first attempt in May (a successful one) and remember how I did it. How did I wake up at 4:30 or 5? What has changed in me that it now seems completely alien.

I guess the answer is that I have to fake it until I make it. I just have tug my lazy butt, kicking screaming if need be, out of bed and into the fire. I either need to make time before the sun or find time during the day or at night. I simply can't let myself go to bed without having sweat a little bit.

I've compared the journey to fitness to the journey to sobriety experienced by addicts (this is mostly guessing as the only thing I've ever been addicted to is the television show Lost). I guess the logic of getting started is probably the same. I recognize I have a problem, and rather than become defeated by the seeming immensity of the task in front of me, I need to get started making baby steps. I will be healthy starting today, starting right now. I'll think about tomorrow tomorrow. I'll commit to letting the future take care of itself.

I think part of the problem is that unlike my first go round when I was looking forward to the Lake Travis Relay, I don't really have a goal right now. Perhaps that should be part of this process as well. I'll let you know if I come up with anything.